OK, folks, here we go on a test drive: Balroggie just gave me an idea for an LOTR humour story. You’ll pick up on the subject matter as you go along, but rest assured it won’t be at all slashy. Here goes…

ARDA ONLINE, Part 1: The Silly-marils

RingKing2000: hey

DurinsBane2187: wassup?

RingKing2000: not much…finally installed IM…my old compy couldn’t handle it ‘cuz of that icky old 14.4 modem, but finally got Mordor-Cast Cablevision out to Barad-dur to get a cable linkup

DurinsBane2187: cool…yeah, MoriaOne has awesome service, I can download councilofelrond.com in a flame’s lick

RingKing2000: nice

RingKing2000: so what’s new with you? haven’t talked in a while

DurinsBane2187: not much…had to drop my wireless service ‘cuz I can’t get a signal in the mines

DurinsBane2187: and ever since the Valar threw Morgoth out the door of night, can’t get my allowance to pay for it

RingKing2000: damn…man it must suck living under Caradhras

DurinsBane2187: nah it’s ok…gives me more time for interior decorating and gettin’ in shape…never know when some crazy old wizard will come down here trying to wreck the gates and bridges

RingKing2000: lol

RingKing2000: yeah it’s tough with Morgoth gone

RingKing2000: had to get a job at McDwalin’s to pay for my education…made it though…i own Mordor now

DurinsBane2187: niiiiiice…congrats!

RingKing2000: thanks

RingKing2000: keepin’ warm down there?

DurinsBane2187: haha very funny

DurinsBane2187: so when do you start overrunning Middle-earth?

RingKing2000: dunno

RingKing2000: maybe next century

RingKing2000: still have to breed some orcs and forge a new mace…oh, btw, i broke down and took that metallurgy class Morgoth kept hounding me to take…made a new ring

DurinsBane2187: cool

RingKing2000: yeah definitely…set a world record for tiny writing on it too

DurinsBane2187: nice…wanna send a pic?

RingKing2000: sure, just gotta send an Easterling over to Minas Tirith to get it scanned

DurinsBane2187: k…send it to shadow_and_flame59@moriaone.net

RingKing2000: kthx…hey i gotta go–invited Celeborn and Galadriel down for dinner, gotta set up the dining hall

DurinsBane2187: k

DurinsBane2187: ttyl

RingKing2000: bye

RingKing2000 signed off at 2:48:47 PM.

The picture was a little obscene, but the result certainly hits the spot…

You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame, they burn with light and power and rebirth. Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an amazingly strong person. You survive, even flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm believer in the phrase, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger,’ you rarely fear failure. You know that any mistake you make will teach you more about yourself and allow you to ‘rise from the ashes’ as a still greater being. Because of this, you rarely make the same mistake twice, and are not among the most forgiving people. You’re extremely powerful and wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion, and anger. Perhaps you’re this way because you were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality and know that life is tough and the world is cruel, and it takes strength and independence to survive it. And independence is your strongest point – you may care for others, and even depend on them…but when it comes right down to it, the only one you need is yourself. Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your wings to guide you.You are eternal and because you have a strong sense of who and what you are, no one can control your heart or mind, or even really influence your thinking. A symbol of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very spiritual person with a serious mind – never acting immature and harboring a superior disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity’s stupidity and tendency to want others to solve their problems for them frustrates you endlessly. Though you can be stubborn, outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.

http://quizilla.com/users/chaoscomesatnite/quizzes/*~*~*Claim%20Your%20Wings%20-%20Pics%20and%20Long%20Answers*~*~*/

*****

Sounds a little Balroggish, don’t you think?

AHHH! FanForce meets! Good times! New job possibilities! This day had it all! Had a heady blast with the Boston Rebels at the Good Time Emporium, with two games of laser tag, two rounds with the go-carts (after a 40-foot motor coach, those things are a piece of cake ) and countless arcade games. I kicked ass big-time in the pod racing game, as usual – that’s why my s/n is Sebulba. Also had a pleasant chat with Roseanna on the walk back to the T stop. She and I have almost never seen eye to eye on anything, but I’m happy that we at least broke a little of the ice that time.

And that’s not to say I’m interested in her. No, no, not by a long shot, because (yes, commence Ranger Rant #4018-A) not only have we disagreed so often, but romantic interest in anybody pretty much bottoms my list. I can’t help but scoff at these people who believe those romantic movies, the ones that twist young minds into believing that there’s love at first sight, love heals all wounds, love outlasts anything, love does this, love ends that. Love doesn’t outlast everything, me hearties. Love sure as hell didn’t outlast the Perfect Little Princess, now did it? Love hasn’t condescended to head my way in the almost 25 years I’ve been on this miserable rock, now has it? Love to date has done nothing whatsoever for this hardened ol’ ranger. For a few select people, love will do anything, it’ll work miracles for them. For a few more select people, love will cause pain ten times more unbearable than a gunshot to the stomach. It’ll drive them to the breaking point, destroy what hope they have left, suck the marrow out of their faith and harden their hearts to the point where nobody except the Good Lord can penetrate.

Long ago, I knew that the only thing I needed in this life to make me truly happy – the happiest that I could possibly be – was the true, unconditional love of a woman. Sadly, though, years have proved that it’s not going to happen. Experiences with girls in high school and early college built the mouldings around my ticker. After that, every brush-off that the Perfect Little Princess gave me was another drop-off from the cement mixer. I try the best I can to be filled with love, compassion and caring for many of my fellow human beings, but down in the depths, my hatred for her and what she’s done to me is eternally simmering. She asked for a double knuckle sandwich a long time ago. If she gives me an adequate reason, she’s going to get it.

In short, folks, love sucks, and it’s not worth the time, the waiting and the pain. Love and I have nothing in common.

On to happier notes…

I’m two steps away from a new job!! At long last, I got a chance to talk to the conductor on the train, who has pleasantly referred me to the Amtrak office in Boston. Ohhhh yeah, baby. All I gotta do is find a chance to get down there, drop by their office and see what they’ve got for opportunities; and the guy said they’d be happy to hear from new applicants. Woohoo! Damn, I can’t wait to see what lies ahead. UNH Transportation, I will grant you, is one clusterfuck to rule them all – that’s why I’ve focused on charter work the last two semesters. Regular service has been the headache of the century. Trouble is, my current boss is not customer-centric or even employee-centric – she is self-centric. No business to be had being in the manager’s office. Hooboy, am I anxious to see what awaits applicants to Amtrak…

BEER! AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

(If you’ve seen the movie “Willow”, that probably means something. )

Well, after an 8.25-hour day, beer sounds good to me right now. Eesh, especially on a night like tonight, when it was Bill’s first night driving transit routes! We showed the poor guy no mercy. Every new route driver has the dubious privilege of getting every single panel on his bus opened up – doors, wheelchair lift, fuse panel, roof vents, engine compartment, EVERYTHING – and trying to run around and close every panel, while the rest of us run around the bus opening them up again, thus making him about five minutes late for his first run. I was going to put one of the motor coaches in his parking space, but not only did I feel kinda bad about what we’d already done, but a motor coach would’ve been too big for the space. Ah, well.

You may have glanced over to the left and noticed that one of my present  grumblings is not spending as much time with Cassie as I used to. Well, tonight was the night to redress that glaring error – we had one of our beloved old casual dinners together before work, during which we talked up a storm about our friends and the impossibility of understanding them. Inevitably, the Perfect Little Princess came up – and boy, was I relieved to see that Cassie was sympathetic. Nobody can understand that stuck-up little prat, it seems. She thinks that her current significant other is The One, but HOW far apart are they for HOW many months out of the year? She would have me believe that I never truly loved her, but she couldn’t possibly know how I felt about her because why?

SHE DIDN’T CARE.

So, between that and this “He’s the one!” business, which smacks of an adolescent infatuation, I have safely reached the conclusion that she wouldn’t know true love if it walked up and punched her in the nose. (Which is something I sorely wish I could do to her, but I digress…) Now if she would only take the hint that I’ve nothing to say to her, and I’m not letting her suck me into this false friendship of hers again, it would be a perfect world. God, I wish she would leave me alone. It doesn’t hurt me, not in the least, that she’s found somebody else she’s happy with. What hurts me is that she couldn’t be bothered to give me another chance, not even after the X-number of times that I poured my heart out to her. Didn’t take long to get freaking frostbite just being in the same room with her. Are all women like this between the ages of 15 and 30? Based on personal experience, I really have to wonder.

On second thought, I don’t have to wonder. Because the heavens have graced this miserable little rock with women like Cassie.

In all sincerity, I thank God for Cassie. She’s not well, so she’s at the top of my ever-growing prayer list. But she speaks of moving to D.C. – it’s not too far, but damn, will we all miss the hell out of her. I especially will miss her friendly ear and comforting words, her infinite fountain of friendliness. She’s not as chipper as she used to be, and while I wonder why, I have to hope and pray that she will find light at the end of the tunnel – and that, as Murphy might say, it won’t be an oncoming train. Loving and lovable, she will be the good-luck charm of whatever man is fortunate enough to be able to spend the rest of his waking hours with her.

And so, Ranger Rant #4018 comes to an end, in which you have attended to a small part of the World of Women according to Seb. I promise you this isn’t all I have to say, however. Ranger Rant #4018-A is, without a doubt, not too far off.

What women want, indeed…

Whatever it is, I sure as hell can’t give it to them.

I must ask of you to keep your thoughts and prayers with Lady_Andromeda. She’s going through a pretty rough time right now, and as I’ve walked a mile (or two or three) in her shoes, many prayers are in order that she’ll be quick to find peace.

Okay, so I’m at church this morning and we hear the Gospel according to Luke (that’s SAINT Luke, me hearties, not Luke Skywalker, for those of you who might get them confused ). It’s the story of the ten lepers cleansed by Jesus Christ, only one of whom returned to give up his thanks to the Almighty for curing him. It’s pretty obvious what this Gospel means for us: to be the one stand-out amongst the many people who don’t give daily thanks for what they have, even if it’s something they’re endowed with in everyday life. Hell, life itself – what more is there to give our thanks for? Long have I strove to live up to that lesson, and I’ll grant you, it’s not always easy. Not exactly a cinch to remember it on an hour-by-hour basis. However, I just hope and pray that everybody else in that parish is taking as much heed, and I’ll tell you why.

Every single Sunday, it’s the same thing: everybody and his uncle comes crowding up to me wanting to know how my mom is doing. It’s like, folks, there are OTHER PEOPLE on this planet besides my mother! They don’t even ask after me or my dad or my sister – just my mom. Every Sunday. Without fail. And then on the rare occasions when she comes to church with me, none of them ever say a word to her. What’s the chance that they’d start talking to her again if she started coming to church there regularly again? I fear it’s almost nil. Speaking of being grateful for things, they should be grateful she comes back there at all, and God forbid they should go over and ask her face-to-face how she’s doin when she shows up. So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m not going to answer anymore. The words “How’s your mother” will fall eternally on deaf ears. Better yet, if my mom joins me at church some time, I can just say in the future, “She was here last week, why didn’t you ask her then?”

Mwahahaha.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Orthodox Church, but some of the parishioners are such self-centered moneybags that you can barely define them as true Christians. Sad, isn’t it? That anybody can turn their backs on their faith for the sake of politics, and holding their fortunes over the head of the parish, amongst other reasons? It’s disheartening. Let me go pray now that no more of my acquaintances from camp will ever fall into that dark little neck of the woods.

Doesn’t anybody do the speed limit on NH-125? Honestly, these people.

Ohhh man – I won’t miss that shift. Remind me to steer well clear of that afternoon Portsmouth run next winter break (provided I’m still around here by then). Especially on Fridays, when the turnpike is inundated with Mass-holes making it impossible for you to maintain proper following distance. You’d think driver’s-ed courses were never offered in Massachusetts. Proof of this can be found in the perpendicular collision that held me up for about a half hour on my next run. YARRGHHH!!! And to top it all off, Larry is in rare form as the grumpy old fart that he is. Between all that and the Perfect Little Princess continuing to hellify my life, the job hunt is on, me hearties.

Hmm…want me to talk about the dipwad who was driving a propane truck ahead of me and smoking a CIGARETTE??? Gah, somebody had a death wish tonight, and it wasn’t me. Probably oughta hit the sack, in any event. If my truck fails to start tomorrow because of the predicted deep freeze, I’ll be on here faster than a speeding network connection. (Har har har.)

Where the heck is everybody?

Is it so cold out that you’ve all lost your fingers to frostbite??

“All right, all right! In London, April’s a spring month, while out here, we’re freezin’ our butts off! Now is that close enough for government work?!” – Jack Wade, Goldeneye

And we are. We so are. 8 below zero when I woke up at 9:30 THIS FREAKING MORNING. Arrrgh, how I wanted to stay inside all day and blog and do E-mail and writing…alas, no dice. Had to work. Had to be outside. Had to use my bare hands to manipulate metal objects in temperatures as high as four degrees. Let me count my fingers here for a sec…

OK, they’re all still there. As it was, we left buses running all day today for fear that they wouldn’t start again if shut down! Yeesh. Come and cite us, EPA, I dare ya – just don’t come crying to us if you can’t take the bus home because it won’t start in this weather.

One redeeming social value of this frigid day was that for the second night in a row, I have been able to stay precisely on time for the entire run!!  You know what that means, don’tcha? Well, just in case you don’t: It means I’ve got a better chance of tear-assing back to campus, leaving enough time to refuel before my last run, which in turn means I get out of work earlier. That is, of course, unless the old grump who’s dispatching doesn’t pick that precise moment to start doing office paperwork.

Anyway, it was a far cry from Monday night, when I had a trainee who wouldn’t go above 15 mph on the in-town parts of the route. Which, of course, made us a grand total of twelve minutes late. It was all I could do to keep from yelling, “STEP ON IT!!!” Aah, what the hell. Now, if you’ll excuse me, time to go and list optimum specifications for those nice new transit buses we’re due to be getting later this year. Management wants to get the cheapest ones available, but we all know what that means…

There are three kinds of jobs – good, quick, and cheap.

A good job cheap won’t be quick.

A good job quick won’t be cheap.

A cheap job quick won’t be good.

BLAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Thought I’d never get my ass back here!  Phsheesh…See, this is what happens when you go on week-long charters, only to come home and find out that your computer is too old to be upgraded so you have to go traipsing out to find a new one. Which is exactly what I spent the whole friggin’ weekend doing, and all of Monday setting the new computer up and trying to transfer data from the old one. Eventually just wound up E-mailing all important files to myself and downloading them one at a time. Wouldn’tcha know I’m not even close to getting done.

Well, anyway, I promised you a blow-by-blow of last week’s tour:

Monday – First stop was UMass Amherst. I hate I-495. I hate I-495. I hate I-495. Barring downtown Boston and Rt. 128, it is the worst concentration of Mass-holes to be found anywhere in the country. I’ve got half a mind to tear it up with my bare hands one of these days. *sigh* And crappy weather to boot…mixed precipitation around 20 degrees F…To top it all off, the bus’s right windshield wiper was suffering from a longer stroke than normal, meaning that the wiper arm would bang noisily against the windshield on its way out.  When it gets loud enough to make your ears ring, you know it’s gone way past irritation point. Ah, but what am I complaining about? MY ALTERNATOR WENT OUT at the first stop! Tried to start the bus and all I got was a grinding noise, meaning the group had to take cars to their next stop while I called a service center and got the spare alternator put in. Thank God there was one or we would’ve been up shit’s creek, I tell ya. Sooo…despite iffy readings on the voltmeter for the rest of the day, there were no further problems for the rest of the week. Overnight in Pittsfield, MA. Miraculously, I found a place to plug in the bus’s engine block at the hotel; did so just in time to pig out on Law & Order reruns for the rest of the evening. So, crappy day though it was, the ending was quite satisfying!

Tuesday – Chock blocks were frozen to the ground, so after I’d started the bus, I had to move it back and forth to break the blocks loose from the pavement. Fancy that, eh? On we ventured into the beautifully wintergreen hinterlands of upstate New York. Specifically, the Blue Seal mill in Chatham. Weather was beautiful…up to a point. And it reached that point while I was almost getting lost on the back roads on the way to the next stop. Can somebody PLEASE ask the state of New York to differentiate County Route 9 from State Route 9? *sigh* Well, we found the place on schedule, so despite the infinite stench of cow pies, all was well. UNTIL we tried to find foodage. Can somebody PLEASE ask the state of New York to think with one stomach? It was two hours before we found a McD’s. MCD’S!!! The most loathsome fast-food joint ever conceived, and it was the ONLY place we could find to eat!!!  Some of my co-workers love to scare fast-food-joint employees by driving a 40-ft bus in there, but I digress. Rt. 23 over the Catskill Mountains…and the worst snow I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Talk about your whiteouts – it was a SOLID WALL of WHITE STUFF. Couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face, literally. And I couldn’t pull over, either, ‘cuz there was no safe place to do so – had to watch the grass at the edge of the road to alert me to the curves. Thank God for D59, only bus in the whole fleet that’s heavy enough to keep its traction in that weather. Sooo…about fifteen hair-raising minutes brought us into Stamford, NY, where we spent a couple of hours in a butt-cold wind on the top of a mountain before continuing on to Cobleskill. There awaited our evening’s lodging: a ritzy Best Western complete with pool (which was friggin’ CLOSED) and a restaurant. Couldn’t complain about 1) getting a second-floor room right above the bus, or 2) getting to pig out on Law & Order again.

I must have to commend drivers in upstate New York on their decency. Far cry from the Boston area. Hell, even New York City driving is better than Boston and I kid you not.

Wednesday – So friggin’ cold that it was a rough start, even with the engine block plugged in. BRRR! Luckily our first stop was only five minutes away, ample time to get it warmed up and keep it that way. Going up I-88 toward Albany gave us beautifillimous weather, although, as usual, it was back to clouds ‘n’ wind by day’s end.  One student was sick – we almost had to leave him behind, but he took some rest for the first hour, enough to keep him going. And so, our first stop, a huge commercial dairy farm, was bright on all fronts until we had to depart behind this speed demon of a guide driver who almost lost me three times. Yay fun…do all dairy farmers take a half hour to finish lecturing? Ah well, at least nothing else of negative note happened for the rest of the day. Pool time at the hotel, another fancy-shmancy Best Western, was once again a bust. At least I had (drumroll, please) more L&O reruns to compensate.

Thursday – I wound up having to plug the bus in by running the cord through a doorway and into a wall outlet. Yeesh…At least it worked and at least I was able to get it all nice ‘n’ warm by refueling first thing in the morning. Count your blessings, gang, because even though I paid $142 for the fuel, you may very well be paying that much if gas prices keep doing what they’re doing. We seemed destined to have beautiful mornings on this trip, only to have them ruined by big ugly clouds rolling down from the north within an hour. *sigh* On plus side, NO MCD’S!!!! We went to a rustic little diner on Rt. 67 instead, and for once we lunched on schedule, instead of 2:30 in the afternoon. Lovely place, not terribly pricey, I might add. Always a good thing…Next stop was an organic farm. Had a suspicious name, though I’m not going to mention why. Best of all, we were at our hotel two hours early, giving all of us two hours to knock off and, in my case, go over the cash receipts thus far. I’m tellin’ ya, that old bat down there in the transportation business office needs to take a serious chill pill. You can double, triple, and quadruple-check your receipts only to get them thrown back atcha with a nasty note saying that they’re short.  I swear, she’s so determined to find fault that she’ll manufacture it. Aaaaanyway…another nice fancy dinner at a very cool (if bankbreaking) restaurant in Bennington, VT. Must’ve begun life as a hunting lodge – beautiful decor and quantities of food that would put Henry VIII to sleep. Only potential hangup was a railroad bridge 12 feet off the ground. Boy, was I holding my breath going under that thing.

Friday – ahhh, last day…Coldest day, roughest start! It was like three degrees all morning, and the exhaust was pure smoke for the same period of time. That your idea of fun? Gooooood, because our next stop was the top of another mountain. I must’ve spent about a half hour trying to get myself turned around without getting stuck in the snow – yech. White stuff…But, we made it, and with no precipitation to worry about…boy, did I rip ass back home! 5:30 return time. There were two bus cleaners at the garage waiting to help me clean up, but they only furthered the proof that if you want something done, you’ve got to do it yourself. I’ll probably have to go back over the whole bus again later this week.

So, I’m home and bloody happy – now, what’ve you all been up to? Wait, don’t tell me…lemme go read and reply to some blogs here!