July 12, 2005

• Godawful boring day on the
  passenger trains today. If we’d skipped a run (which we almost did if
  it wasn’t for two, count ‘em, two people who came up the platform five
  minutes before departure time), I might have worked a little more on my
  latest Star Wars fanfic – if it hadn’t turned into such a waste of time
  and forum space. How has it earned this designation? you ask. Nobody, I
  say, no damn body can be bothered to click over and read it, save for
  the same two or three people every time. For most of my life, I have
  been possessed of an inhuman desire to write, but writing seems like
  such a waste of time if nobody reads it, don’t you think? I used to
  write for a lot of different fandoms – Due South, Star Trek, and JAG,
  to name a few – and I had so many stories planned for all of them. But
  they never got finished because they never got read. They utterly
  failed to generate any interest, making me lose interest in writing
  them. I’m teetering on that point with my Star Wars fanfic now. If
  you’re even still reading this entry, here’s what I posted in the story
  thread on the Star Wars forums…

  You know, I find it very telling that this story has been going for
  four months, that it is in fact the Epic of the Month (which is almost
  half over), and yet 1) it is still utterly failing to get any further
  interest and 2) the epic stories thread is currently dead as a
  doornail. Not that I don’t appreciate the feedback I’ve gotten. I do.
  Enormously. But I am still left wondering why that’s all I ever get,
  after three and a half years on this forum, while new authors sign up,
  post a fic and immediately get a dozen or two replies every time. I
  know what everybody keeps saying, that I’m such a great author and that
  this stuff is so unique and exciting and I should keep at it. Well,
  that being the case, why the hell doesn’t anybody else seem to think
  so? What am I doing wrong here? Is it that Jaina Solo is not the main
  character? Is it not mushy enough? Is it too run-of-the-mill or dull or
  clichéd or overdone? Do people have a hard time following it? Are any
  of these avenues even truly wrong? Granted, this is a complicated plot,
  but it can’t be that hard to follow. Now I am really wondering
  why I try. I keep telling myself, as do other people, that this is a
  really good story, but the evidence, or lack thereof, speaks for
  itself. You know how many people I’ve seen on the fanfic boards saying
  Jacen Solo is their favourite character and they think he’s got such great
  potential and he’s been so character-assassinated in the NJO? Well,
  what’s stopping them from clicking over? Now before anybody starts in
  with the Patience-Is-A-Virtue Corollary, let me reiterate that I’ve
  been patient for three and a half years and almost never gotten more
  than the coveted three or four readers for whom I thank my lucky stars.
  For the sake of those people, I’m not going to stop posting, but in all
  realism, I am going to continue to be frustrated out of my mind pouring
  115 percent into this story and watching it fall into the clutches of
  Darth Obscurity at every turn.

  • 6:31 pm
  • 2 Comments