March 12, 2004
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He said, “I’m fabulously rich
Come on, just let’s go”
She kinda bit her lip
“Geez, I dunno”
But I can guarantee
There’ll be no knock on the door
I’m total pro
That’s what I’m here for
I come from downtown
Born ready for you
Armed with will and determination
And grace, too
The secret rules of engagement
Are hard to endorse
When the appearance of conflict
Meets the appearance of force
But I can guarantee
There’ll be no knock on the door
I’m total pro here
That’s what I’m here for
I come from downtown
Born ready for you
Armed with skill and its frustrations
And grace, too
Ugh, I never should have taken this assignment. It’s been one headache after another. Literally.
When the bosses asked me to take this job – driving a company of Russian delegates on a tour of emergency response centers around New Hampshire – they told me how important it was and they told me the level of people I’d be dealing with. These people are Russian military officers, councilors, ministers, doctors, and others of a more than prestigious nature. Dash it all, I should have told the bosses that with a job this big, they could rest assured that I’d screw it up.
Which is exactly what I did.
I mean, for the most part, it hasn’t gone that badly. We’ve gotten everywhere on time, I haven’t gotten in any accidents or traffic stops (yet), I haven’t had to skew off the road trying to wrench away from some Mass-hole who’s about to broadside me, and the courtesy and politeness and respect has thus far been mutual. We’ve had a grand tour of the State House and taken in a nice, satisfying hockey game. On the other hand, however, I have taken at least two wrong turns that I can recall, have had to park the bus a good half a mile away from their destination, and pulled a real kicker yesterday: bumped into an old high-school buddy and stopped to talk for a minute, but then the American hosts urged me onward. Stupid, right? And now there’s still three days left – what else can I do wrong?
That’s not to get into Tuesday night, when I stayed over at the hotel and took part in social hour. Not wanting to seem rude, I knocked back a few shots of vodka with them (this, mind you, was well over the legal time limit for consuming alcohol before I went back on duty). Before I knew it, ZAWNK. I was weaving back to my room to sleep it off, and spent all of Wednesday feeling like I was going to hurl any second. Thank God that didn’t happen.
Soooo, at the moment I am suffering from copious amounts of stress over the last 72 hours, and as of this morning the two-day headache has progressed down to my stomach. The only thing I have to look forward to in the next 72 hours is a FanForce meeting on the morrow, provided the group doesn’t change their schedule again and prevent me from attending… *sigh* Spring break, spring break, I love you spring break, you’re only….Gawd, four days away yet. Well, maybe I’ll go throttle that dumbass noisy dog across the street to try and relieve some of the stress before tonight.
